Despite being semi-retired from politics after her devastating Presidential loss to Donald Trump in 2016, which we all know was due to Russian meddling in our election, Hillary Clinton has managed to reinvent herself as a bestselling author and speaker. During a two-hour long oratory last week at the Joe Barron Institute For Potato Mold, she let loose with what appeared to be a “schtick” regarding her former rival’s supporters.
“Remember when I called the throwbacks who got behind that professional con man ‘Deplorable’? I actually caught myself there from publicly using the word ‘Douchebags’. I mean, I was right in both accounts, wasn’t I? If anyone knows a Trump supporter who ISN’T a complete douchebag, raise your hand.”
Not a single hand went up across the thousands-strong crowd. Clinton continued.
“See? The funny part to me is they tried to ‘brag’ about being deplorable douchebags after that. Called themselves ‘Deplorables’ as if that was smart. Then again, these are people who have been constantly confirmed to be about as sharp as a sock full of clam chowder. Douchebags, one might say. I should start selling them T-shirts.”
Clinton is frequently paid between a quarter of a million and $500 thousand for her appearances, and hasn’t been shy about jabbing at her incompetent and murderous opposite, Trump. She’s commented that his overweight form should classify him as a ‘Doucheblimp’, and has inferred that “He’s more attractive to racists than a naked virgin Mary blow up doll.”
Tea party leader Barry McCaulkiner shot back at the former First lady from his home in an abandoned ice cream truck in Alabama.
“We ain’t stupid. We know a secret Soros assassin with endless money to pay off everybody pretending to be a grandma when we see one. We’re proudly Deplorable, lady. That’s why our cousin-wives love us so much. Trump 2020!”
Has four years of blatantly displayed obnoxious douchebaggery among Trumpers strengthened the Hill Dog’s argument? You be the judge.