In one of the most moving moments in modern sport’s history, Tom Brady once again proves that he is not only the greatest of all time but also a class act. Not that there was ever much doubt about either of those points.
After winning the Super Bowl in Florida, where everyone is pretending like there isn’t a global pandemic, Brady took to the field, Brady looked up at the sky, pointed in the direction of Mar-a-Lago, and mouthed the words:
“This one goes out to President Trump.”
It was the whisper heard across the state.
It has been reported that Trump was so moved, he pushed his Diet Coke button and asked his personal assistant to serve it to him in a brandy snifter — so he could raise his glass to the football legend.
This is just the boost the former President needs. After suffering condemnation and ostracism from all of the internets, Trump has been feeling extremely isolated and lonely. He’s been known to spend all day in bed, eating McDonald’s and KFC, watching reruns of the Miss Universe Pagent while reliving his glory days.
“She was a 10. She’s a total dog now, but she was a 10 when she was 19. Smoking hot.”
Melania just rolled her eyes. She really hates it when he talks about other women. Especially after that whole Stormy Daniels “situation.”
Tom Brady’s words of encouragement were enough to light a fire under the billionaire’s bottom. He sprang from the bed, brushed off the extra crispy crumbs from his chest, dabbed the ketchup stain, threw on his favorite pair of khaki pants and a white polo shirt, and hit the green.
He’s back, baby! And golfing like he’s never golfed before!
“Par, par, bogey, bogey, par, par” just like Leo Fish’s father. Only, different. Because Leo Fish’s father doesn’t really exist.